Ever since we found out we were having a second child I thought it was a girl. A girl would have been nice. We already have buckets of clothes for a girl, I somewhat know what to expect with a girl, and Adeline is the best kid in the world. Then on that fateful day in the ultrasound room, Sarah and I knew it was coming before the ultrasound tech even said “Whoa, yup, definitely a boy.” I don’t know what to do with a boy. Do I have to learn to throw a baseball just so that I can teach him or is he just going to inherit my dislike of sports and maybe be born with a lathe chisel in his hand instead? Either way, I’m gonna love that kid like his life depends on it and hopefully he grows up with some great role models who pick up on any of my shortcomings.
Though I don’t know anything about raising a boy, there are a few things that I would like for him to know before he joins the family:
- Your mom and I love you very much. There’s nothing wrong with saying “I love you” or showing someone that you care. Don’t get sucked into the stubborn arrogant machismo that you think everyone expects from a young boy. Stand above it and be your own man.
- You and your sister are equals in our eyes. No opportunity will be given to her that isn’t offered to you and same with the other way around. You will grow up with many strong women in your life so don’t think for a second that being a guy makes you superior. Let your actions define you and live in a way that brings honor to yourself and your family.
- It doesn’t make you any less of a man to cook or clean. I promise that if you watch your parents and learn some housekeeping skills, you will have no shortage of potential suitors lining up. You’ll see how much I love baking and how much better I am at doing the dishes than you your mom, so I hope to see you covered in flour rolling out pie dough, just like your sister.
- When you get old enough, you have to pull your weight around the house. I’m sure Adeline will teach you all you need to know about picking up toys and only painting on the assigned paper since she is already a pro at that. As you get older, you will get more responsibilities. We will try our best to make everything as equal as we can but we’re not perfect. If you have an issue, we can talk about it, which leads us to…
- Talk to us. You won’t believe me when I tell you this, but I was your age once. Times have changed drastically already but I’ve probably been through a lot of the same things that you’re going through right now. Communication isn’t just important for your mom and me, we have to be in each others lives to have a close and functional family. We’re here for you whenever you need us.
- Always be curious and never grow up. No matter where you end up in life, a sense of curiosity and creativity will help you advance. Never stop learning, because, even though you think you do, you will never know it all.
- Be a good person. Your mom and I will do our best to raise you in a loving Christian home and give you every opportunity possible, but I also hope that we let you see what it’s like to not have what we have. I hope you always see the good in people, because it is always there. Jesus said the Kingdom of God is in all men so give everyone a chance. Don’t judge people by what they look like or sound like or even what they do until you understand the reasons why they are who they are. Better yet, don’t judge people at all; you’ll live a much better life if you don’t.
That’s pretty much it, bud. There’s a lot more that I want you to know, but we’ll have time to go over that in person. See you soon.
If you’re a dad about to have a son, what would you add?