13 In Motherhood

Real Talk: When Toddlering Gets Hard

Let’s have some real talk, shall we?

For this post, I was going to write out our meal plan and grocery spending for the week, but I just can’t muster up the strength or the mindset to do so. I’m tired ya’ll. Like, so, so tired. I feel like I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast.

As I write this, we’re coming off a crazy difficult weekend in the toddler department and now another exceptionally difficult Monday night bedtime routine. Have you seen that meme floating around about needing an extra day just to recover from the weekend? I can’t even express how badly I wish that were true! This weekend truly kicked our butts in more ways than one. I even secretly wondered how bad it would be to hire a nanny to come do nap time and bedtime. (Kidding, people! Just kidding.)

I don’t want this post focused on Adeline’s bad behavior, and I’m not going to go into much detail because that wouldn’t be fair to her. She’s learning just as much as we are, and just doing the best she can, but at the end of the day, it’s currently feeling very exhausting. I thought for sure we were soaring through the 2’s with flying colors, and then all of sudden WHAM. We’re encroaching upon 2.5 and as much as I loathe the saying “terrible twos”, I think we’re there now.

Now, some of this might be hormones. In fact, I’m sure a lot of it is. But I just need to whine for a second. And I can do that because this is my blog and I can say what I want. I’m just going to be real here and say being pregnant with a toddler is SO hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be. I feel like pregnant women get shamed for complaining because it somehow negates how thankful they are to be carrying their precious babies. But that isn’t the case at all. (In fact right now, baby boy is kicking away and it’s the coolest feeling in the world!) We’re all allowed to complain during our unique seasons of life, and I’m not going to feel bad about that. I don’t feel good, my back hurts, I’m already exhausted from the pregnancy. But our toddler still wants to be held, and picked up, and fights me during her meltdowns, and it’s just brutal some days. I feel guilty for passing her off to Daddy a million times, and watching one too many movies because I just don’t feel like doing anything else. And by the time we get her to bed at night, it’s rare if I can keep my eyes open long enough for a full episode of The Goldbergs with Adam. And as soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m off in Neverland, dead to the world. Literally.

I feel like I always used to judge other toddler parents and think, “my kid will never throw a fit like that!” or “my kid will go to bed promptly at 7pm every night, it isn’t that hard!” or “my kid won’t be a screamer, or tell us no, or act like that!” And then I became the parent to a toddler and I’ve now eaten all my thoughts and slapped myself silly. You literally have NO idea what it’s like until you’re in the thick of it, and solely responsible for the actions of a tiny human. They literally have minds of their own. IMAGINE THAT. Throw in pregnancy and everything somehow seems inordinately more difficult and exhausting.

It’s just hard. That’s all there is to it. I’m so tired I feel like I could cry and I just might cry before I crawl into bed. Sometimes I wonder how on earth I’m even old enough to be a parent. Like who agreed to this?? Craziness I tell you! Shouldn’t we have to take a test or something to ensure we’re capable?

Even though we’re in the midst of a hard season, it’s mildly comforting to know that soooo many of my friends are also going through it. We’re all in it together, and I hope by me being honest about our struggles, it comforts someone else! You’re definitely not alone. Toddlering is freaking hard stuff. I don’t care what those perfect parents say, it’s not for the faint of heart! And fellow pregnant toddler mamas, you are rockstars. Which means I also get to call myself a rockstar, because a little self brag goes a long way. (But like, after I accomplish all the things, where’s my medal?)

But as hard as it is, I still think this is my favorite age yet. Is that totally bizarre? Didn’t I just complain about it? For every meltdown and ridiculous tantrum, there are twice as many sweet moments to balance it all out. I wish I could bottle up every toddler conversation we have, and document every little funny thing she does. She’s my best little buddy, and in large part, I love every second of every day. I’m so thankful for this season of life, and it’s something I always wanted. Even if there are times where I want to go hide in my closet and pretend there’s another adult in charge, I wouldn’t trade this fun stage for anything.

So, rock on parents, we got this. Let’s savor the sweet, and triumph through the tough. Let’s support one another and talk about it. It won’t last forever, and we’ll be sad when it ends.

Now, who’s up for ice cream and a second Dr Pepper? Thanks for listening to my therapy sesh.

Who else is riding the crazy train to toddler town? 

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13 Comments

  • Reply
    Heather
    April 17, 2018 at 7:00 am

    OH MAMA! You know I’m right there with ya!
    Heather recently posted…The One with some Spring Like Weather: Weekend Recap 4/16/18My Profile

  • Reply
    The Curious Frugal
    April 17, 2018 at 7:06 am

    It feels like as soon as I think we’re in an “easier” stage, it changes the next day! And you’ve had a lot of symptoms with this pregnancy, so that has to make it so tough caring for A at the same time. You’re definitely allowed to vent. I think you struck a really good balance with sharing your feelings, but being respectful of your daughter’s (future) privacy. Sometimes that’s a hard balance to find, so good job mama.

  • Reply
    chelsea jacobs
    April 17, 2018 at 8:23 am

    ooh girl, yes! right in the middle of this!

  • Reply
    Emily
    April 17, 2018 at 8:38 am

    yup yup yup. 2.5 is kicking my butt right there with you.
    Emily recently posted…Every Fourth MondayMy Profile

  • Reply
    Amanda
    April 17, 2018 at 9:41 am

    Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me that I am so overwhelmed and exhausted by just ONE toddler (and a baby, but let’s be honest he’s not the problem here lol), and some people pop out baby after baby like it ain’t no thang. Is my toddler THAT much more difficult???? We have had a really tough last couple of weeks especially, and honestly I hear from everyone that 3 is harder than 2. As we get closer to 3 I do see that happening! It’s tough.
    Amanda recently posted…12-Minute Memoir: VoicesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Autumn
    April 17, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    Not a parent, but from a former pre-k and now kindergarten teacher–it never changes. Kids are exhausting. Fun and cute and a million other things…but, yeah, exhausting.

  • Reply
    Meredith
    April 17, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    My husband has totally suggested getting a nanny for bedtimes!
    I have a 2.5 year old and a 3.5 month old. Boy do toddlers know how to press buttons! It can be really hard sometimes!

  • Reply
    Jen
    April 17, 2018 at 6:34 pm

    Being a mom is never easy!! Between the 4 kiddos, my oldest is nearing 16 and the youngest is 4, you can imagine the mood swings we deal with over here!! But, I’m loving watching them grow and learn and become their favorite little people. The only saving grace I have is that I KNOW how fast each stage passes and I kind of remember different tricks to get through it. Most days this little 4 year old of mine is a total angel, other times she lays down in the middle of target because I won’t let her lick the shelves.
    Some days are easy, others are insane!!
    Jen recently posted…Making simple changes for a true lifestyle changeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Katie
    April 17, 2018 at 8:42 pm

    I just ate ice cream on the couch and opted out of bed. That’s how my day went! LOL
    Katie recently posted…My Productivity Secrets- How I Learned To Get More Done and Avoid Burn OutMy Profile

  • Reply
    katie
    April 18, 2018 at 8:58 pm

    Thank you for the real talk! You can do it!
    katie recently posted…30 Days of Katie, Day 18: Training UpdateMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jo
    April 19, 2018 at 11:14 am

    I dive into dark chocolate chips to alleviate the stress of my seemingly bi-polar 2.5 year old. 🙂 I love that little girl, but she has meltdowns almost hourly and no form of discipline seems to work right now. But…then she smiles and is absolutely adorable. Being a parent is just plain exhausting, but I have no doubt being a toddler that is easily frustrated and not able to fully express her desires is not all that fun either.

  • Reply
    Nina
    April 27, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    Thank you for addressing that. Even without a toddler some pregnancies are hard, hell your whole life can be hard in so many other ways. So shaming pregnant women for being sad or tired or anything negative is…well, shameful.
    I hope this stage passes as quickly as possible and wish you a great remainder of the pregnancy.
    Nina recently posted…The one product that completely changed my skinMy Profile

    • Reply
      Sarah
      April 29, 2018 at 9:33 pm

      Thanks Nina!

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