Thank you to everyone who’s shared in our excitement since our big announcement! We are thrilled to say the least. For my own memory, and for the sake of anyone else who’s experienced TTC after a miscarriage, I thought I’d put together our timeline and the details that I can remember. This is going to be a long winded post, so grab a cup of coffee if you’re really interested! It may also be a little TMI, so feel free to move along if this doesn’t float your boat! But, I know after our loss, I was obsessed with reading positive stories of conception for encouragement and affirmation that everything would be okay.
If you’ve been following for a while now, then you’ll know that we lost our second pregnancy in August. And to put it bluntly, it really sucked. And it made last fall a really, really tough time. All I wanted to do was get pregnant again and put it all behind us. After the loss in August, my cycle didn’t return until the end of September, which meant “trying” wasn’t even possible until mid-October. And then it didn’t happen. And if we’re being honest? I was super upset about it. I’d known so many people who got pregnant right away after a m/c that I thought for sure that’d be us. When we didn’t, I kept thinking the worst. But after some serious soul searching, I had an attitude change and decided to be as optimistic and positive as possible, and trust that God would bring us our rainbow baby soon, all in perfect timing.
Even though I was feeling really optimistic and faithful, I ordered a pack of OPKs. (Specifically, these) I figured it wouldn’t hurt to even know if I’m ovulating or not, and to better pinpoint when exactly that was happening. I’d always had a pretty good idea, but after our m/c I knew things could still be wonky. So, for that next cycle in November, I tracked my cycle diligently with OPKs, something I’ve never ever done before. Turns out, OPKs are pretty cool, and incredibly accurate! It was kind of like a science experiment – being able to see what my body was doing on the inside, but on paper. Unfortunately, the timing couldn’t have been worse because according to my positive OPKs, I would be ovulating the day of or the day after we made the 11 hour drive to TN for Thanksgiving. AWESOME!
The week of Thanksgiving I tried not to think about it at all. I knew that now we’d just have to wait and see in a couple weeks and if it didn’t happen this time, we’d try again. About two weeks later, I was feeling super impatient and wanted to take a test SO bad. I’ve always thought it was ridiculous to “test early” and always wondered why people tormented themselves that way. And with my last two pregnancies, I didn’t even take a test until I was 5.5 weeks and 6 weeks, respectively! So taking a test at like 4 weeks just seemed really weird, and kind of silly. I couldn’t stand it though, and ~12 DPO I took one of my cheapie tests that came with the OPKs.
It was a Saturday afternoon, and I was just so curious I couldn’t help it. I knew I’d be upset if it was negative, but promised myself I wouldn’t be. I also knew it was still SO early, and highly unlikely it would even read accurately. But, I took one anyway, and of course it looked as negative as it could be. And of course I was upset. I went and cried to Adam and said I was going to go take a shower to calm down and get over it. I laid the cheapie on the bathroom counter, and hopped in the shower. When I got out, I went to throw it away and I peeked at it one more time and I SWORE I could see the faintest of faint lines, but Adam said no, he didn’t see anything. (When really he did, he just didn’t want to get my hopes up, I later found out!) I threw it away, and said I’d test again first thing in the morning just to rule it out for sure. You know that gut feeling you get where you just know something to be true deep deep down and you can’t shake it off? I just kept thinking in the back of my head – there was a second line. I’m not crazy.
The next morning I woke up earlier than usual and knew I should take a test just to double check. (Side note – I’d been waking up earlier than usual to pee the past few days so I’d say that was my first “symptom”) So, I took it, and went and laid on the couch for a little while because Adam was snoring and I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. Maybe 45 minutes after I took it, I decided to grab it and take a look. I knew for sure it would be negative. So sure in fact I almost didn’t even bother looking at it. I picked it up, and with tired eyes I saw the faintest line. Again, but slightly darker than the “line” I thought I saw the day before. I was so doubtful of whether or not what I was seeing was indeed a positive that I immediately texted a gal pal (at like 6:00 AM mind you) and said, “DO YOU SEE A LINE?!” She responded almost immediately, “GIRL YOU ARE PREGNANT!” (Kylie, I’m sure you’re laughing right now.)
And then I ran into the bedroom and told Adam there were two lines. We decided we’d take a digital one the next morning, and if it was positive too then we’d call the doctor. We were cautiously optimistic because we’d never used these cheapies before and for all we knew it could be an evap. line or an error.
That afternoon, I decided to take another cheapie, and sure enough, a second line appeared! Still faint, but obviously there. I texted Adam while he was out running errands and said, “I think we’re pregnant!” then promptly went to buy a pack of digital tests.
Monday morning first thing, I took another cheapie and a First Response line test as well as a First Response digital, and again, all positive! Same with Tuesday morning. I called my doctor’s office Monday as soon as they opened, and asked to come in for blood work ASAP. Since our m/c, they wanted to make sure and test my HCG and Progesterone levels as soon as we got a positive test, just to make sure everything was looking normal. I had my blood drawn 3 times that week, and each week my levels rose appropriately. By the end of the week I was 5 weeks, according to my app and everything was looking normal.
The following week is where things got tricky! It was the week we were supposed to fly out to Breckenridge, CO for a big Ingle family Christmas ski trip. I was so excited at the prospect of being secretly pregnant in the cabin, and cozying up next to the fire with a cup of hot tea while Adeline played with her cousins in the snow. I didn’t even think twice about there being any reason as to why we shouldn’t go.
At my final blood draw appointment I casually mentioned to my nurse that we were going to Breckenridge in about a week. I asked if there was anything I needed to be aware of concerning the higher altitude during pregnancy, like drinking extra water, not going to the top of the mountain, etc. And she said, “you’ll be fine as long as you don’t go above 9,000 ft, we recommend against it, and always have. The CDC used to even recommend against anything above 7,000 ft. But we can’t tell you for certain you would or wouldn’t be at a higher risk of m/c.” So I was like, oh ok no big deal, I’m sure our cabin isn’t that high. I quickly got on my phone and googled the altitude of Breckenridge, and sure enough the darn city itself sits at 9,600 ft! CRAP! Panic mode! We’d just received the happiest news only to be followed by a total bummer. I texted Adam and said I was worried we might not be able to go on our trip and that we needed to find out how high our cabin was. I think I cried happy but bummed tears all the way home after that appointment. This was going to be the hardest decision because we were SO excited about this big ski trip, but we both knew that if we got there, and God forbid something did happen, we’d never forgive ourselves.
We talked and prayed and talked and prayed and finally just decided to tell his parents what was going on, and get their input. I absolutely did not want to tell anyone about our pregnancy for several, several more weeks but we just had to tell them. Of course they were super excited, but also disappointed. As were we! They supported our decision though, and we soon learned that the cabin was at 10,500 ft, so it would have been risky anyways. (Or maybe not, we don’t REALLY know, but we do know I would have been prone to altitude sickness at a much great intensity, especially coming from Texas and not having time to acclimate.) That night we also called the rest of Adam’s family and let them know that we wouldn’t be joining them on the trip. Again, everyone was super excited, but disappointed, but also happy! Such a strange week of emotions!
The week Adam’s family was gone on the trip we tried to stay busy and have fun with Adeline. I was already off work, as was Adam, so we declared it family staycation week and did all the things! We went to the zoo, the aquarium, new playgrounds, and crammed in as many Christmas lights as possible. We were bummed to not be in Colorado, but enjoyed some special time just the three (four!) of us.
After all of my bloodwork came back clear, and on the right track, I called to schedule our first ultrasound. At first, the receptionist said she’d get me in at the first of January. (!!!) I quickly said, no, you don’t understand, I need to come in as soon as possible to make sure everything is ok! Of course their schedule was jam packed with ultrasounds and after some serious begging she finally found an opening on December 20. I would only be 6w6d so we’d just be checking for a heartbeat and viability.
And everything looked great! Praise God! We scheduled our first OB appointment for January and hoped the next 3.5 weeks would pass quickly! (Which they didn’t. They passed very, very slowly.)
The week of Christmas we told my family, and it was so special. I had made my parents a calendar in Shutterfly for 2018 with pictures of Adeline and family birthdays and events already marked. And on our due date, I put “Grandbaby #4 due to arrive.” On Christmas Eve, my brother and his family were set to be at my parent’s house to do presents, so we facetimed with them when my parents opened their calendar gift from us, and needless to say it was a huge surprise!
At our next appointment, we met with our doctor and she tried to find the heartbeat on the outside with her doppler. She couldn’t find it, and I burst into tears as she hollered for her nurse to come help with the ultrasound machine. They quickly did an ultrasound, and almost immediately she said, “your baby is perfect!” Turns out, I was just still too early to hear the heartbeat on the outside, so I’m still a little frustrated that she even tried and put me through that stress in the first place. But either way, we got to have another ultrasound, and a second peak of our tiny bean.
4 weeks later, we had another appointment, where she found the heartbeat on the outside this time and assured me that it sounded perfectly normal. Music to my ears.
And that should bring us up to speed! We’re 15 weeks, and chugging right along at the slowest possible pace. I’m not sure why moms with toddlers swear their second pregnancies “just fly by” because we are currently moving at a snail’s pace. Maybe it’s because I’ve felt so awful all this time that each day itself feels like an eternity, but time is certainly not flying by over here! Maybe once we get past the halfway mark things will speed up!
We’ve got our anatomy scan appointment already scheduled and I can’t WAIT to find out the gender. I honestly have no gut feeling or inclination, and could come up with reasons why I think it’s both.
I’ll be back soon with a full first trimester update! I’ve got lots of fun symptoms and stories to share!