Two words that can either make my heart melt, or shatter it into a thousand pieces.
I feel like we lead a busy life. It’s a full life, full of things we choose to be busy with, but it’s a busy life nonetheless. It’s easy to feel like we’re doing too much, and at the same time not doing enough.
You know that old cheesy saying, “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world”? Every night after we say our prayers as I’m rocking Adeline, this saying runs through my mind. I always reflect on our day, and try to create one last mental snapshot of the day that inevitably flew by too quickly. I find myself thinking, did I listen to her enough today? Did she feel loved today? Did I ignore her or shake off any of her silly requests? Did we play enough? Did I say no too much? Did I say yes enough? Did she have fun today? Did I put her first today, or did I put myself and my own to-do list first? Was I too busy today? Was she my focus today, or just a piece of the puzzle?
I know the struggle of balancing it all can be a tough one, and though we’re far from perfect, most days I come to the conclusion that we’re doing a pretty good job and I try to feel confident in that. But there are still days mixed in where I feel like we failed and I’m thankful for her unconditional love. See, she has this funny way of reminding me what’s most important in life, and that it’s the little things that matter most. She reminds me to slow down, and check my priorities. And it’s with those two little words. Two little words that have big, big meaning.
Hearing her little voice speak those two words gets me every time. Sometimes it’s a punch to the gut because I realize she’s watching. She’s watching everything I do, and she doesn’t care how busy I am, or what deadline I need to meet, or what email I need to send, or what I’m watching on tv, or who I’m on the phone with, or what photos I’m editing. All she cares about is Mommy, because I’m her entire world. When she says those two words, it’s like the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard, and I can feel my heart skip a beat. I can’t say no. I just can’t! No matter what I’m in the middle of doing, she is ultimately more important. These times are fleeting, and I don’t want to look back and wish I’d sat down more. I don’t want her to ever stop asking me to sit down because she thinks I’m too busy.
Mommy sit! As she gestures me into her playhouse because she wants to pretend like she’s in her own home.
Mommy sit! As she pulls up a seat for me at her table because she wants to color.
Mommy sit! As she points to the floor next to her kitchen because she wants to make me a plate of “pizzi” balls, corn, and donuts.
Mommy sit! As she hollers from the living room on the couch because she wants me to watch Elmo with her.
Mommy sit! As she motions to the barstool next to her because she wants to show me her tower of play doh.
Mommy sit! As she points to the chair on the back porch because she wants me to watch her go down her slide.
Mommy sit! As she motions for me to sit down in front of her while she twirls in her dress.
Mommy sit! As she insists that I lay down so she can pretend to put me to sleep and say “night night Mommy.”
Mommy sit! As she climbs up in her glider because she wants to read one more book before bedtime.
Mommy sit! As she glances over to her left because she wants me to sit in the backseat with her.
Mommy sit! As she points to the ground by her easel because she wants to show me her artwork.
Mommy sit! As she pats the floor in her tent because she’s signaling me to climb inside.
Mommy sit! As she plops down in my lap because she just wants to snuggle.
Cheers to motherhood, and the times that tug at our heartstrings. These times are sweet, and though they’re busy and chaotic, they’re the best.