I feel like motherhood is such a catch 22. One one hand, I want her to stay tiny and little forever. And on the other hand, seeing her change is nothing short of amazing. I thought the newborn days were MY JAM. And then another month would come along, and I was all, WHAT WAS I THINKING THIS IS WAY BETTER! And then another month would pass, and I would be all, THIS, THIS is my favorite age. And the cycle would repeat. And here we are, 17 flippin’ months later and I still think every single day is my favorite age. If Adam had a dollar for every time I said that, he’d be very happily skipping off to purchase a new Xbox.
I remember after she was born, all of my veteran mom friends swore up and down, “it only gets better!” I thought they were crazy. How could you possibly think that? I swear I would cry putting her to bed every night because I was grieving another day come and gone. Moments I could never get back. Moments that were sweeter than I could have ever imagined. But alas, the sun would rise, and I would be greeted by my tiniest love, and another magical day would come to fruition.
Lately it seems like Adeline is morphing into a little kid right before my eyes. It’s like every time I blink, she looks less and less like the squishy auburn-haired 7lb baby I brought home from the hospital and more like a gosh darn teenager. I was just telling my mom the other day that it feels like birth to 1 year, seemed to go as quick as I would have imagined. Every month was such a change from the previous month, but she still seemed to be a “baby”. And of course, she was, duh. But then as soon as we passed her first birthday, it was like the after burners turned on and now suddenly she looks like she’s ready for Kindergarten!
It’s incredibly bittersweet. She is such a joyful little girl, and watching her grow and profess her newfound independence is so much fun. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I was MEANT to have a little girl. In every dream I ever had, I always had a little girly sidekick. In every dream I ever had, I always had a smiley little girl I could dress like a baby doll and spoil rotten with cute dresses and precious little outfits. I just knew we’d have a girl, and it’s been a lifelong dream come true. I thank God everyday for her. I’ve looked back at her profile from our ultrasounds and I still think, “if I knew then, what I know now!” Anyone else ever think that? I can’t imagine going back to being pregnant with her and not knowing what kind of spunky little miss she’d turn into. Isn’t that crazy? I mean really. One day you don’t know what they look like and the next you do, and it’s as if you’ve somehow always known.
I take a million photos of Adeline. My computer is full of photos, my walls are full of framed photos, I’ve made one too many photo books, and I share way too many photos on social media. But this girl. This girl, ya’ll. She’s my favorite subject. Nothing brings me more joy than capturing her crooked toothy smile, full of mischief and wonder! One day she won’t let me take her picture. One day we’ll be too busy, running around chasing her siblings, or simply just living life. I think a part of me fears forgetting. Forgetting these early days, forgetting her constantly evolving personality, forgetting her cankles, her hand dimples, her long eyelashes, and her thighs that each still have one roll left in them. I might cry the day these rolls fully disappear! We are quickly approaching that day, though!
When it comes to Adeline’s wardrobe, I’m finding that I lean towards the quality over quantity mindset. Sure, she has a lot of “play” clothes for school – clothes that aren’t photo worthy by any means. But every other month or so we acquire an extra special outfit, an extra sweet dress, something that I can’t WAIT to photograph her in and save for her next photo book. We are now on our second handmade dress from Bizzy Bean Clothing on Etsy, and I think it’s safe to say it’s a keeper! It’s coral and wildflower perfection, with the slightest hint of mustard. And, it has pockets! POCKETS! The other night at small group Adeline was smuggling toys in her pockets, and it made me laugh out loud. So that’s what pockets are for, who knew?!
Anna, the talented hands behind Bizzy Bean, will be releasing this exact dress in her Etsy shop on April 6th! And, for all you interested mamas out there, you can use the promo code, BIZZYBEAN3 to receive 15% off your order!
Be sure to follow Bizzy Bean on Instagram to see future releases!