13 In Life

Why I Deleted Facebook Off My Phone

It’s been a month since I deleted the Facebook app off my phone. And you know what? It’s been life changing. How lame is that? But hear me out because I can BET you feel the same way.

I spend so much time on Facebook. On social media in general, really. Part of it is because it’s literally my day job and the field I happen to work in. Part of it is because I’m a blogger. Part of it is because I run a small business and being on social media is just necessary these days. And part of it is because I’m a Millennial and being active on social media is just a way of life. I love social media, obviously, and could not imagine axing it all together. There’s just no way. But social media, and Facebook specifically, is not real life, and should not consume you!

I started noticing that Facebook was becoming more and more toxic. It was making me feel less and less positive, optimistic, and joyful, and more and more angry, annoyed, and jealous. Is that ridiculous or what? But it’s true! With so much turbulence going on in the world around us, it’s only natural for the negativity to filter down into my Facebook news feed. Any because I’m human, and curious, I see it, read it, and engage with it. I’m at the stage in life where big things are happening – people are getting engaged, married, having their first baby, maybe even having their second or third baby, climbing the corporate ladder, and buying their dream homes. I love being able to keep up with friends and family and celebrate their accomplishments, but it’s the negativity and ruthless comments that I really can live without. For some reason, Facebook has become a platform for professing your opinions on anything and everything, no matter the cost. There seems to be great power in hiding behind your computer screen. And seeing those things everyday, can really make you question why you even have Facebook to begin with, much less why you even follow the people you do. And that shouldn’t be the case!

You see, with Facebook, a few years go by and suddenly you have 1,000+ “friends”, even though you probably don’t even know who half of them are or even talk to them in person. I first got Facebook my junior year of high school, mainly as a way to connect with people going to the same college as me. But now, EVERYONE is on Facebook, and I feel like Facebook is like a snapshot of your life. It’s like everyone’s personal resume. It’s great for keeping friends and loved ones updated, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t just downright exhausting sometimes.

Now that Adeline requires constant attention, I was starting to notice that I was on my phone way too much. Scrolling through Facebook on our walks. Sitting in the car a few extra minutes just to check Facebook. It was the first thing I looked at in the morning, and the last thing I looked at at night. I was sick of feeling like I needed to check it every other second, and constantly needed to see what everyone else was doing. I felt this added pressure to “keep up with the virtual Jones” and be in-the-know. But you know what? Who cares! I am trying really hard to be more present, and focus on my own life, instead of everyone else’s. The moments I want to remember aren’t happening on Facebook, they’re happening right in front of me. I don’t want Adeline to grow up with a phone in her face, or in Mom’s hand, all the time. She already knows how to turn it on, which is enough to freak me out! (And yes, I take 10 billion pictures of her on my phone, so to some extent there’s no escaping it.)

I’ve committed to now only getting on Facebook with the following stipulations:

  1. Between the hours of 8-5, my usual work day. Give or take an hour or two.
  2. To post something of purpose: whether that be photos for friends and family to see, i.e. my mom, something related to my photography business or Adam’s woodworking business, a funny status about something Adeline did, to ask for advice on something pertaining to motherhood, an educational article, a blog post, updating my profile, etc.
  3. If outside the work day hours, it has to be for something important. And I mean important!

Facebook can be such a life sucker. Literally! It has this powerful way of making you think FACEBOOK IS LIFE. It can make you feel all the feels and leave you wanting to throw your computer out the window.

Feelings that may surface when you’ve wasted too much time scrolling through Facebook:

  • Why didn’t anyone like my picture? Cue internal panic.
  • Only 15 likes? No comments? Obviously nobody likes me.
  • I can’t believe my mood is now ruined because no one liked my picture.
  • Maybe I should delete it and post something else.
  • NO. IT DOESN’T MATTER.
  • They’re pregnant again?
  • Am I secretly jealous of them being pregnant? Maybe I should get pregnant again.
  • No, definitely not. Calm down ovaries.
  • And they bought a house?!
  • It’s huge, how can they afford that? How can anyone afford that??
  • Their picture got 135 likes? Why?? I guess they’re just more popular.
  • *Read political post* They’re idiots. How can they think that way? UNFOLLOW.
  • *Read another political post* MUST LEAVE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE COMMENT.
  • Delete comment.
  • Uggghh why do I even read these posts.
  • I wonder what the other comments say.
  • ABORT ABORT ABORT.
  • Wait, my family member posted WHAT?!
  • Haven’t I seen this ad already?
  • How do they know I googled this 3 days ago?
  • Another cat video? At least it’s funny.
  • Why why why did I read that sad article??
  • Do they ever post anything other than their baby?
  • Their baby is literally doing what every other baby does.
  • Wait, I only post things about my baby.
  • I’m such a hypocrite!
  • Whoa whoa whoa, did they just talk about their baby’s poop? Too much, too much.
  • Oh look, another MLM post.
  • Noooooooo they joined too?
  • Who buys this stuff if everyone is selling it?
  • Don’t comment. Don’t comment. Don’t comment.
  • How on God’s green earth do they have 45K likes on their Facebook page?
  • Her pictures are so pretty, every picture she shares of her house is amazing.
  • Wait, she has 3 kids.
  • WHERE ARE ALL THE TOYS!?
  • Ugh, she’s perfect. Literally perfect. My house could never look like that.
  • Oh cool they got a new job!
  • How did they get that job? What am I doing with my life?
  • I bet it pays way more than I will make in a lifetime.
  • I bet everyone makes more than I make. Ugh now I am depressed.
  • If I get one more invitation from them to play Farmville I’m going to scream.
  • Who is that? Did I go to high school with them? Why am I even ‘friends’ with them?
  • I wonder if they’ll notice if I unfriend them?
  • I’ll just unfollow them. Easy fix.
  • Has it really already been an hour? I just scrolled for an hour…
  • How did I end up on this person’s page? I don’t even know them.

Point being, if Facebook is turning you into a grumpy, angry elf, it’s time to take a break. You can uninstall it. You can unfollow anything you don’t want to see. You don’t have to keep doing this to yourself!

Having Facebook ONLY on my computer (and not on my phone) has made me more productive when I am on Facebook. I don’t spend as much time aimlessly scrolling and falling down rabbit holes. I don’t avoid social situations by pretending to be deeply interested in a Facebook post. I don’t spend hours at night while we watch TV Facebook stalking people I hardly know. I don’t waste precious time on the weekends worrying about what the rest of the world is doing. IT’S LIFE CHANGING PEOPLE! I kept the Messenger app on my phone though, simply so I wouldn’t miss any important messages.

I think what it all boils down to is self control. Can you have social media apps on your phone, and be disciplined enough to avoid them if you know they cause you negative feelings? If not, delete them! If you thrive on them, then keep on, sister!

It’s all about balance, and not letting social media and technology replace the reality you are living every single day. Don’t miss out on living your life because you’re trying to live someone else’s online.

deleted facebook mobile

Do you keep social media on your phone? Facebook specifically? Do you give yourself limits and boundaries when it comes to spending time online?

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13 Comments

  • Reply
    montessoriishmom
    March 30, 2017 at 6:55 am

    Haha your list of feelings from fb cracked me up! I hardly ever look at facebook anymore, but I love seeing people’s wedding and baby pictures for sure. I do find that fb makes me feel bad about things though, especially if I’m in a stage where I really want something I don’t have (e.g., before I got engaged, before we had our baby, etc.) It can even make me “want” things I really don’t want at all (like a high powered career, which I consciously gave up years ago). It can definitely be fun, but I agree, small doses are best!
    montessoriishmom recently posted…James at 6 MonthsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Heather @Lunging Through Life
    March 30, 2017 at 7:02 am

    YESSS!!! Couldn’t agree more. nodded my head through all of it. A knows how to turn on our phone, find Spotify, and her games and turn them on. Like I don’t even know. It’s crazy and I’m so with you on FB just bringing me down.
    Heather @Lunging Through Life recently posted…Two Months Out: Countdown is OnMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jana @ Happy Wife Healthy Life
    March 30, 2017 at 8:22 am

    I have gone back and forth on this and need to just pull the plug! I love sharing on Facebook, but I don’t need to check the number of ‘likes’ constantly throughout the day. 🙂 The only thing that keeps me from doing so is it’s so convenient to post on my blog / Beautycounter Facebook pages from my phone than it is to log in, forward my photos from my phone to my email, etc. to post. Maybe I am just being lazy lol! I don’t necessarily have the self-control either though so it may be the only option.. 😉 I am typically more guilty with being on Instagram a ton, but I don’t think you can post on Instagram without the phone app, correct?
    Jana @ Happy Wife Healthy Life recently posted…Pregnancy 101: Baby #2!My Profile

  • Reply
    Kelly @ Kelly Runs For Food
    March 30, 2017 at 8:48 am

    I just wrote about something similar, but about social media in general! All your thoughts were so funny and true. Like, how do people 10 years younger than me have nicer houses? Haha.
    I think I lucked out a little bit due to my age. I was already a sophomore in college before facebook was invented, so most of my crucial formative years were spent blissfully social media-free. Those thoughts definitely creep in, but I think I’m able to disconnect a little easier than some who’ve had facebook since puberty. It seems like kids going off to college now have been on social media their whole lives and it makes me so sad to think about!
    Kelly @ Kelly Runs For Food recently posted…Social media: Perception vs. realityMy Profile

  • Reply
    Allison
    March 30, 2017 at 10:23 am

    I love your thoughts on this. I actually deleted my facebook entirely at the beginning of January and have been significantly happier ever since. It was just making me frustrated and wasn’t bringing anything positive to my life. I’m still pretty careful with who I follow on social media and only have people on instagram and snapchat that I actually want to converse with and know what is going on in their lives.
    Allison recently posted…Throwback Thursday – NannyingMy Profile

  • Reply
    sarah k @ the pajama chef
    March 30, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    i couldn’t agree more! i actually deleted fb off my phone earlier this year for awhile. i brought it back to add some pictures, and never deleted it. but a phone facebook break was SO nice. i’ve been getting back into it more than i would like to, so i think i might delete it again. like kelly said above, i’m so glad i didn’t get facebook until college. i have an 11 mo old and am already anticipating the social media convos when he gets older.
    sarah k @ the pajama chef recently posted…Trader Joe’s Chili Lime Chicken BurgersMy Profile

  • Reply
    Emily
    March 30, 2017 at 3:14 pm

    I did this too! I actually deactivated it for Lent, only getting back on for our gender announcement and because a couple of people asked me if we were okay (maybe I should’ve told people — I didn’t realize how many people communicate with me that way!). I also gave up Snapchat and surprisingly don’t miss that at all, it can be such a time suck.
    Emily recently posted…But I Loved You FirstMy Profile

  • Reply
    Amanda
    March 30, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who has those thoughts while scrolling through FB. Ha! I’ve actually never had the app on my phone for these exact reasons. It’s easy to waste too much time on it. I also keep my phone in the kitchen at night to charge, so I don’t scroll it mindlessly right before bed, and it’s not the first thing I do when I wake up. Just too easy to make that a really bad habit! I actually just wrote up a whole post about my thoughts about being off social media entirely for Lent. I won’t lie. It’s been really nice.
    Amanda recently posted…links + loves vol. 7My Profile

  • Reply
    Allison
    March 30, 2017 at 8:41 pm

    Love this post! I personally need to set boundaries with my phone period. I’ve gone zero social media for like 3 weeks but always find something else to do on my phone I love the details of the boundaries you’ve set for Facebook.

    I’m going through the “lies young women believe” with a group of high school girls and a lie we just went through is about social media… and a lot of the times the reason we don’t give it up is bc we are afraid we’ll miss out on something! FOMO is real!

    I don’t want my baby to remember me with my phone always in my hands Time to make some changes! Thanks for the encouragement!!

  • Reply
    Melissa
    March 31, 2017 at 2:51 pm

    LOVE this! I absolutely love your stream of consciousness in the bullets. It’s all so true. I haven’t had the app on my phone for about 3 weeks and it has also been life changing. Never going back! It all just feels like noise and the same people posting the same annoying things over and over again. There’s very little on FB that I feel I truly “need.” For me, it’s a form of communication or way to see events in some groups I’m part of, and that’s about it.
    Melissa recently posted…Just Me & You, One Last TimeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Katie @ Live Half Full
    March 31, 2017 at 3:11 pm

    I’ve been trying to stay away from my phone in general and it’s made blogging hard. I feel like I don’t take enough pictures, don’t share enough and am not on my game. BUT- that could because I’m on social media too much! 😉
    Katie @ Live Half Full recently posted…Simple Sunday MorningsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Andia
    April 6, 2017 at 10:15 am

    I think we would have been friends in another life. In January, as soon as my replacement phone came in, the only SM app I put on my phone was IG. I had to manually delete FB off my new phone because it comes pre-installed (laaaaame). I don’t even have Pinterest on my phone (kind of miss it, but it’s better this way).

    I rarely post about my life anymore. I used to just post mundane life stuff, but it was always overshadowed by pregnancies, engagements, weddings, and CATS! Now that I am pregnant, I am realizing the SM practices have transferred to my real life. There are very few people who stay connected, until something important happens. Then its a hug, a congrats, and then its on to the next exciting thing. I had to ask myself, “Have I done that in my real life?”

    Anyway, this has turned into a blog post of its own hahaha, sorry! All that to say good for you for taking the plunge, and welcome to the club!

    • Reply
      Sweet Miles
      April 10, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      So true!! I’m glad you can appreciate it!! Loved your comment!

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